I know that exercising and getting up and about might help with some of these pain and the fatigue, but for some reason, I just can't. I can't be the only one that gets in these funks, can I?
The answer is definitely no, because I see a lot of people like me with Crohn's or other autoimmune disease, or hell any chronic disease, try to beat this endless cycle but fail day after day. Why do we let this happen to us? I think it is our mind overpowering our body. Sometimes I feel like since I am not in school I have no worth or purpose, and I drag along every day waiting to get back into med school and make my mark on the world, and crossing my fingers that I won't get sick again.
This wasn't supposed to happen to me. I worked so HARD to get into medical school right from college. I was one of the youngest there. I was going to be done by 28 and be able to get married and have kids in perfect time, and all of that changed on the 27th of February. I am now two years behind in school, was told I might not be able to have kids from my illness. Well that's just a slap in the face, right?
No, I guess not. I guess it is just life. Things happen, random events occur, bad circumstances come about in the lives of good people.
TOMORROW, I will get out of bed, and be active, and do what I need to do!....Or I might lay here and do nothing because I am achy from the weather...it's a goddamn catch 22.
Love & Thanks,
Alyssa
xoxox