"TODAY! Today is the day I am going to get out of bed early, hit the gym, tackle the tasks I've been putting off forever, and I am going to feel GOOD." We ALL say this, and if you're me, you say this every day. Also, if you're me, it never happens. There's a fine line between the Crohn's side effects (the fatigue, joint pain, muscle aches, hell it even feels like my bones hurt) and between being moody, depressed or upset. With any chronic illness, I think it's a little bit of both. Actually, scratch that, a whole lot of both.
I was so excited for today, I really couldn't wait. It was going to be the perfect date. Many things I love all fused together into one magical day. It's unreasonable to think that I could have a good day out on the town (city) and feel completely wonderful. Correction, it's unreasonable because I have an autoimmune disease. Or just plain shit luck..or just the plain shits.
Like Ed Sheeran so blatantly says, "don't". I mean it, just don't. Don't e-mail me, text me, call me, facebook me, tweet me (you get it now right?), some article you read about a "Cure for Crohn's Disease" and how if I eat the fruit of this rare tree I will never have another flare and how all's I need is one round of antibiotics and my life will be changed and my disease gone. Don't you dare minimize the research of thousands of brilliant physicians and scientist, billions of dollars in studying the diseases of IBD with an article you got from your hippie friend who found it stealing their neighbors WiFi.
What is it really like to have a chronic disease?
Chronic illness. Let's just break it down for a sec...
Have you ever ordered something so simple online that you never thought twice about the company behind it, or the people who provide the service? Well, I for one, as an uber experienced online shopper, do this quite often.
I was looking for a planner and I am super picky about my planners. They need adequate space for each day (doctor's appointments and medical school exams, obviously), they NEED to have tabs for each month, and definitely pages that wont fall out. I asked Facebook for suggestions, and in return I was told about Erin Condren.
BE PREPARED: RANDOMNESS, RANTING & I AM NOT CHECKING SPELLING OR GRAMMAR, it's late, I'm tired, but I just wanted to talk about this while it was on my mind! Feel free to replace pageant with any activity, lol.
When I was first diagnosed, Feb 27th 2014 (anniversary tomorrow, woo...), I didn't realize exactly what it meant. I knew the basics about IBD from schooling, I knew it was autoimmune, but since I never was very sick before, I didn't think I had a bad case at all. I felt relatively fine aside from my 3 hospital stints in the first few weeks.
Then, I decided, of all things, that since I needed to take a break from medical school (cannot miss weeks of med school then just go back!), I would enter a pageant. OF ALL THINGS, a pageant. And let me tell you, it was nowhere near as easy as people think it is, especially with an autoimmune disease that wasn't under control yet, and I didn't know how bad it was when I signed up...
My mother always tell me that I have to curb my spending. Ya know, stop ordering from Sephora weekly, no more impromptu stops at Nordstrom, and definitely STOP buying things I DO NOT NEED from Target. So, to cooperate, I decided to join an online "club" where you get charged $50 some dollars a month and get a new workout outfit!
Wait...I don't think that's what she meant...anyway...
If you know me, or my sister, you know we are notorious for our eye & face makeup. For some reason we were just born with the gift of glam, and with brush in hand we paint ourselves pretty daily.
However, when I go to the gym, I don't wear a lot of makeup, if any at all. But sometimes, if I have some blemishes or know I'm stopping somewhere after, I put on 2-3 products in 5 minutes flat. I wanted to write a post about some old and newer/new-ish products I use and am absolutely, head over Louboutin heels obsessed with. They are great for the natural look and won't damage your skin while your pores are open and dripping with sweat, AND they stay looking great even during and after your workout.
In the past, it seemed as though my life was relatively easy. I was born into a loving, well off family, good grades came easily to me, I was accepted into every college I had desired, and then, best of all, I was accepted into medical school. My life long dream came true and I was ecstatic. Although I was accepted into quite a few schools, I chose the Philadelphia College of Osteopathic Medicine because of its reputation and how close it was to where I wished to practice, Southern New Jersey. My dream school was UMDNJ-SOM, now Rowan-SOM, but I was not accepted there until August, after I had committed to PCOM and had my apartment leased. Nevertheless, my hard work paid off and I would be an osteopathic physician; I was more than elated, I was on could nine.
I had to see a lot of things last year. I should start off by saying it was wonderful in that my mom and I opened a business, I had some time off from school, got to hang out with friends and be a normal human and then start medical school (!@#%&*%LIFE LONG DREAM). However, I feel as though the end of the year hit me like a ton of bricks, literally a fucking TON of bricks.